My MIL kept licking the serving spoon and putting it back in our food
My husband’s covered breakfast tray finally made his mother recoil from the behavior she expected us to tolerate. I thought he had taken my side. Then her furious response revealed a promise he’d made behind my back, and standing my ground became much harder.
When my mother-in-law, Diane, sold her
house, she asked to stay with us for six weeks while her new condo was being finished.
I agreed without hesitation.
Six weeks was manageable. No big deal, I thought.
I even bought her a nicer pillow.
She asked to stay with us
Two afternoons a week, she watched our four-year-old, Noah, while I worked.
Once I came home to find them building a zoo out of couch cushions. She was pretending to be a walrus.
“The walrus needs a lawyer,” Noah announced.
“The walrus has one,” she said. “She’s a pelican.”
She watched our four-year-old
He collapsed against her, laughing.
I put my work bag down quietly, reluctant to interrupt. I’d spent the drive home worrying that he’d missed me.
Here he was, too happy to notice I’d arrived.
***
But by day three, I realized Diane was overstaying her welcome in a disgusting way.
He collapsed against her
I’d found Diane eating potato salad straight from the container.
She licked the spoon and plunged it back in.
“Diane, please don’t do that.”
She laughed when I explained.
“Oh, honey.
You’d think I dipped it in poison. We’re family, aren’t we?”
She licked the spoon
It continued with pasta sauce and mashed potatoes.
Then I caught her sharing Noah’s yogurt, returning his spoon to the cup after putting it in her mouth.
“I’m asking you not to put your saliva in his food.”
“You’re a germaphobe, sweetheart.”
Mark would ask her to use a clean spoon.
It continued
She’d wave him off, and he’d turn back to his coffee.
I kept waiting for him to notice that she’d ignored him.
When I reached for the contaminated bowl, Diane sighed.
I hesitated, embarrassed to be making a scene in front of Noah again.
I began serving Noah’s portion before putting food on the table. If I left a pot unattended, I checked it when I returned.
Diane sighed.
Each time I wanted to raise it with Mark again, I counted the weeks left.
***
Then Diane got sick.
For two days, she coughed and blew her nose, insisting it was “just a little cold.”
I made chicken soup and pointed out the ladle.
“That’s Noah’s dinner. If you want some, pour it into a bowl.”
Diane got sick.
“I heard you.”
Ten minutes later, the serving spoon was in her mouth. She dipped it back into the soup and stirred.
“Diane!”
“For God’s sake, stop screaming.”
“You’re sick! That’s Noah’s dinner!”
“Kids need germs. That’s how they build immunity.”
“I heard you.”
Mark walked in and looked from the spoon to his mother.
“Mom, you really think she’s being ridiculous?”
“Completely.”
“And there’s nothing wrong with what you just did?”
“Nothing.”
Mark walked in
“Okay,” he said.
***
Later, he whispered,
“Don’t worry. I know how to stop this. Be in the kitchen tomorrow morning.”
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